The Ever Repentant Tree Hugger

I'm not a frequently hyper-skeptical person. I don't often raise my eyebrows when I hear about the most recent antioxidant-containing berry, a new and improved device, the newest innovative software, a better mousetrap, and so on. I give the inventors and researchers the benefit of the doubt for a little while—usually about 5 seconds.

But like night follows the day and indigestion follows a meal of fried foods, eventually someone will foist upon consumers another product that roils my skeptical side. Just spend about 15 minutes looking at your Instagram feed and you’ll be convinced that the entire world is full of grifters.

I once bought a silicone bracelet for a whopping five dollars. The people I worked with, whose opinions I respected, told me it would get rid of joint pain. They swore by it. They were convinced that the mysterious disappearance of their joint pain along with improved energy levels could be traced to the wearing of an ugly rubber bracelet.

The bracelet had two round shiny foil pieces attached to either side. I was told that these foil pieces don't have to touch my skin for the product to be effective. Seems to me, then, I could have left the bracelet at home in the bottom of my kitchen junk drawer and achieved the same "benefits."

In most cases, I've found that the cure for joint and muscle pain is time. Given enough time and rest, just about any physical ailment, other than a decapitation, will get better. You might want a hot bath or two or some Ibuprofen, but eventually you wake up one morning and the pain is gone.

I wore the rubber power balance bracelet for two whole days. I never took it off. I woke up each morning with stiff knees and my usual lower back pain.

I was not convinced. You could say that I was skeptical, yes. But I figure that gluing a Brussels sprout behind each ear would have as much restorative powers as a rubber bracelet with shiny foil that doesn’t even have to touch my skin. And I’d much rather explain why I’m wearing Brussels sprouts than come up with an explanation for a rubber bracelet and have to use words like these:

“My bracelet uses holographic technology to resonate with and respond to the natural energy field of my body.”

On second thought, I’ve gone well beyond skeptical and wish I could get my five dollars back.

At some point, most of us want to believe in something outside of ourselves that can make us more flexible, stronger, smarter, more youthful, thinner, and relieve us from pain. Those times when we’re feeling weak, helpless, or desperate are often occasions when we put our questioning minds behind a dark curtain. We partition off our doubt from the rationality that comes with a healthy dose of natural skepticism. 

I think the best thing to do when you encounter a miracle product or a far-reaching claim is to take a deep breath and either say out loud or quietly to yourself: “I need more information. I think I’ll wait.” And if the pressure to hop on board is too compelling, then ask your friends to restrain you. 

Numerous independent studies of the bracelet device found it to be completely ineffective at improving athletic performance, and the manufacturer was forced to retract its claims in 2010.